Happiness.

I've been thinking lately a great deal about happiness and what it means to me and how I can arrive at the ultimate happiness one day. Don't get me wrong..I have nothing in my life that makes me "unhappy" per say. I just have certain aspects of life that I wish I could figure out or knew what to do with.

Happiness to me is not rare....I'm one of those girls that can be happy with the smallest of things. Happiness to me is curling up on the couch with C watching a movie! Happiness to me is holding hands with my niece and nephew or wrestling with them or putting make-up on EKate or hearing "ashie i love you too". Happiness to me is going to lunch with a good friend or a movie, a concert, anything with "good friends." Happiness is shopping or sewing with my momma. Happiness is envisioning my future wedding, my future kid, and my life in general in the future... even though it is all uncertain. Happiness is knowing I have goals and have completed other goals. Happiness is football games. Happiness is cold weather and warm rain. Happiness is days so cold you just want to curl up and read(seriously squeal when i think of this..that's how happy it makes me.) Happiness is leaves changing color. Happiness is being appreciated and loved and adored. Happiness is knowing that no matter what happens in life God has my back! That's happiness. I could go on all day long about the littles in life that make me mega happy...but the bottom line is this...happiness shouldn't be something that one should search for...happiness should be found in the small blessings in life...cooking dessert, accomplishing goals, laughter, even tears. God wants us to be happy. Find what makes you HAPPY and don't forget to appreciate it! :) Happy Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it's been a couple of weeks, but so much has happened. I have so many purse orders but i can't seem to find the time to do them..im going to have to buckle down and get some stuff done. I am also going to try making some new things. A friend is moving into a new apt and she is wanting to make it unique and funky.....therefore i've offered up a lending hand to help make a one of a kind duvet for her room and some curtains to match and who knows what else...it's gonna be cute when we are done:) im pretty excited for it. I want to try this amy butler duvet pattern

but im thinking we are gonna stick with one print only and I think for those purposes i'm just going to do something really simple....find measurements....sew together....insert buttons ( i don't do zippers) and voila...maybe there is more to it then this...and if you're reading this and have any tips please let me know...it's def a first for me!

I haven't really done anything blogworthy lately. Well, as far as sewing goes. I did however purchase a crock pot that I am probably WAY WAY WAY to excited about. I don't cook. I have never really enjoyed cooking until lately...but I figure I need to start eating out less. I can't stand the thought of such a large chunk of my paycheck going to food..so I set out on a goal to A.) be healthier B.) cook at home more C.) DON'T EAT OUT!!!!!!!! So day one of that began yesterday and I'm quite excited about it! I was looking up recipes that were healthy and several were to be done in the crock pot...and since I had a gift card from graduation to wal-mart, I figured it was logical:) So last night C and I stayed home for a scary movie night and we decided to make Fruit Cobbler with the my new purchase...i have NEVER made cobbler in my life ...i don't even really like it...AND i didn't know that it was possible to use the crock pot for such (see i told you..im no cook) but I found a recipe and it was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The worst part of the crock pot is having to smell the yuminess but having to wait so long to eat it.

here is the recipe

Crock pot Fruit Cobbler:

Cook a can of biscuits according to package directions, then tear them into pieces.

Melt 4 TB of butter

Mix 1/2 C brown sugar, 1/4 C of sugar(i just realized this said 1/4..i used 1/2 C...oopps), and a dash of Cinnamon into the butter

Pour 1/2 can of the fruit pie filling into the crock pot

Put 1/2 biscuits over the fruit

Put 1/2 the butter mixture over the fruit

Repeat the layers

Cook on high for 2-3 hours or until bubbling

Enjoy:)

super easy and super yummy!!!! I just put dinner in the crock pot for tonight (see im already doing better...eating at home:)) If it turns out well I will post that recipe as well!

In other news...I started Grad School last week....it has only been a week and I already dislike it greatly. Ugh, school has always been easy for me, always been FOR ME, I think im ready for a break. This will def be a day by day thing. If nothing else...finish the semester out and figure out a new game plan...im def not a quitter though..so I will give it a few months. Maybe it is a good thing I put Law School on hold. But for the moment school is 100% paid for because of working for the university...and...you can't get much better than that. I have a degree already...so that is what is important at this point!

I also got a part time job teaching. Part time ...how does that work? I will be teaching ESL students or those with basic troubles with literacy! I went on the interview last Tuesday and they called me within 2 hours to offer me the job...im so very excited about it! It will be a great experience I'm sure.

Have a great week everyone:)(or all two of you that read this)

GRADUATION!!!!

Well....I did it. I walked across the stage Saturday morning to accept my college diploma! It was such an amazing day. I was so nervous the week before about it all, but I woke up Saturday with a peace and excitement about the day. I think God def worked in my favor that day because He heard all my "Lord, please take away this anxiety and replace it with excitement" cries lol. When I arrived to the coliseum my friend Will was waiting on me and that helped to calm me down as well. I met Will when I was a sophomore taking a linguistic class. We instantly became friends and although it was the last class we had together we have stayed in touch. He attempted to tutor me in Spanish, but when that didn't work out he introduced me to another great friend William that helped me survive that class. ANYWAYS, I was stoked to be graduating with Will.

I was also so blessed to be graduating with a friend that I call "Rhino." He is probably the first real friend I made at college and the story is hilarious. We were freshmen and we had a Psychology class together. It was a HUGE class and I got there a little late and the only available seat was at the very back of a huge room. So I made my way to the back (i hate sitting in the back) and i was a tad bit annoyed at myself for getting there late. The professor made each of us pick a partner and find out their name, major, favorite kind of ice cream, and an interesting fact about them and stand in front of the class to report on it. By this point I was doubly annoyed because it felt like high school all over again, i was sweaty from running trying to make it to class on time, and i was stuck in the worst seat in the class. Needless to say I picked "rhino" as a partner (thankfully) and when he asked me the 4 questions and I reported back and then I asked him....and REMEMBER it was a huge class so the chatter going on that day was very loud...and i could have sworn he said his name was "dusty rhino" and i asked him several times to repeat himself thinking "there is absolutely no way this kid's name is dusty rhino" but I kept hearing the same answer...so just to confirm i said "So, your name is really dusty rhino??" and he smirked and said yes. So...we begin reporting to the class about our partners...I stand up...give my spill ..."this is dusty rhino...he is a creative writing major, he likes mint chocolate chip icrecream(i just made that up...i really can't remember), blah blah blah." Fast forward 10 mins to the professor calling roll....."Dustin Wright?"....."here" ........................................yes...he really had coaxed me into saying his name was dusty rhino to the entire class. It may not be as hysterical to all of you...but it def funny at the time...so from there on he was "rhino" to me! And he has been a great blessing in my life the last 4 years! I know I will keep in contact with him *after college.* He just got engaged and I'm so so happy for him and cannot wait to attend his wedding next May...knowing him...it will def be something no one wants to miss!

I knew a few other people that were within my program that graduated Saturday also so that was comforting too! It really was a great day. I enjoyed hanging out with everyone before the ceremony began....and when the commencement music started I had a tingle of nervousness so I looked to the girl next to me and said "BRANDY...I'M NERVOUS...CALM ME DOWN" so she busted out in Justin Beiber and all the anxiety melted away and I'm pretty sure I smiled the rest of the day!

I had a wonderful college experience! It started off a little rocky. As a freshmen i had no clue what to do or expect and didn't always make the best choices as far as actually going to class was concerned. Because of this I had to redo many of the classes I took the first year...but it turned out amazing in the end. I remember the very first day of school....I walked into WPN and had no clue what to do....I had a break between classes and found a large glass lobby full of couches and chairs and people hanging out....I walked in...took a seat...and sit in silence for the hour waiting for the next class to begin. Little did I know that that lobby would feel like home to me eventually. Once I decided to major in English WPN is the only building I was really in and I spent countless hours studying in that lobby, hanging out with friends, eating lunch, waiting on others to get out of class....and even sleeping on occasion. I'm truly going to miss that place and all the wonderful memories that I had there.

I made so many friends through college...the kinds of friends that have truly truly truly impacted my life and changed me in ways I could never have dreamt of. To all of my English friends...thanks for making college unforgettable....Kim, Jessica, Kayla, Jennifer, Amanda, Ashton, I could go on and on...but all I can really say is life is so much better now that I've met you all! I will miss you guys so much and miss our crazy fun study groups. I was so happy to be able to reconnect with some of these friends at my graduation party Saturday...:)

And to all of my other friends who may not have been in class with me everyday...but still there ...chuck, nat, krystle, cj! Love you all:) You guys have kept me sane and supplied me with a place to live haha.

Some of my most random memories from college involve stalk night 09, rescuing cory, background checks, laughing hysterically, coffee at hastings, starbucks, or wherever else we could find coffee, 1 am freakouts because we cant remember the characteristics of post-modernism vs. modernism, tears, mean teachers, funny teachers, Witherspoon lobby, caf lunches, nebo, more tears, laughter, and more memories than could fill this page.

I'm a college graduate now...and I had the best time getting to this moment. I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life now......Grad school here I come:)

ugh i would love to post more pics but it took like 10 mins to upload these 3 for some strange reason???

Ohhhh, ohhh, ohhhh...something beautiful...

What craziness has been going on. I feel like the last few weeks have been just ...weird. not bad. but weird. I had an interview that would have been somewhat of a good opportunity for me as I forge ahead with grad school. I thought I would for sure get it, however, I arrived home to find a nice rejection letter in the mail. That on top of falling down the stairs at the movies when young kid tripped into me last Friday and severely injured my leg/ foot, ON top of everything else that is going on as I try to figure out how life will go once grad school begins! I feel like I put law school on hold to pursue a Master's degree in something I am uncertain about...and that doesn't make me very happy. Everything seemed just...bizarre. BUT, as i began to sit here and think that the cards were somewhat stacked against me, I had a massive and overwhelming reality check about just how blessed I really am. Don't you love when that happens? So, this post will be dedicated to the sweet little man who makes me realize what a blessed life is.

He is tiny, short, and perfect in every way! I can still think back to almost 6 years ago when i first held his tiny little body in my arms and I KNEW that i loved that boy more than life. I had never known it was possible to love someone so much AND he wasn't even "mine". He was just so perfect. Now I get to watch him grow and that is so amazing. He really does make my life so very sweet. I know everyone is partial and thinks that their child, nephew, neice, cousin, sister, brother or whoever is the sweetest and smartest and kindest...but I know that MINE truly is. He has the kindest heart of any child I have ever met. He hugs and kisses freely and it is not unusual to hear "Ashley, I love you!" without even prompting it. You should hear him pray! HE LOVES JESUS with all his little heart and you can truly tell it by hearing him pray. I've never ever heard a 5 year old pray like he does and it melts my heart. He says the cutest things and our conversations crack me up so much. He is like a little adult and if you are around us you will her conversations such as this

Sam:" Hey Ashie, I learned all the worlds!"
Ashley: "No way!!! You did? I don't believe it! Let me hear..."
Sam:"Okay...there is Africa, Asia, the artica, monticello, muerka springs....uhh...i forgot the rest"
Ashley: "WHOA!!!! You sure do know some of the worlds....did you know you are the smartest kid alive and I..."
Sam: "I know I know..you love my little face!"
Ashley: "Yes..i do love your little face!"

I am so blessed to know this little man and to be his auntie. He starts kindergarten in little over a week and I truly cannot wait to see how he grows and to watch him learn. Today at lunch, when I looked down at his little face that now holds a thick set of glasses (just found out he is VERY VERY farsighted) I realized that I am tremendously blessed to be part of his little world. Things may be uncertain at times. I may have no clue what comes next. But my life is truly blessed. And I'm so thankful that I have this little man around to make me remember that.....so...to the tiny little brilliant light in my life. You are my heaven and I love and adore you more than life itself.

and the ocean is rising quick..and for years I was scared of it

It is 2:04 am and I am usually fast asleep, but nothing is working tonight. I am wide awake and I don't like it. This is the busiest week all summer so I need my sleep, but of course..my mind doesn't understand that and it is constantly going and I can't seem to shut it down.

What a crazy summer this has been. It has went by so quickly. It seems like yesterday I was just getting settled back into town and this Saturday officially marks the end of summer for me.

This Saturday marks the end of a LOT of things in my life. I graduate collge this Saturday and I am nervous beyond belief.

I severly hurt my foot on Friday and ended up in the ER..so there is the fear that my foot will give out as I walk across the stage to receive my diploma...which i know..isn't likely..but everytime i close my eyes to go to sleep i see myself sprawled across the stage with thousands of people looking down and laughing...ridiculous right? I KNOW...i keep telling myself this and nothing is working. Then i try to negogiate with myself..."okay ashley...seriously..it'll take you 5 seconds to walk across stage and grab your diploma then you are DONE!"..but a lot can happen in 5 seconds lol. UGH...i'm asking you..whoever you are...if you are reading this..please pray for A.)my nerves and B.) that i really do NOT fall. lol.

Then there is the whole fear of actually graduating...what comes next? I have had a few interviews, but nothing solid, exciting, or promising. I got a GA position so at least i know i have grad school completely paid for..but otherwise everything else in life is a big question mark.

I always envisioned myself just buying a one way ticket to some place i've always wanted to live(the beach in nc) and flying out after graduation and not looking back...however practicality took over so that won't be happening.

I really would like this crazy week to fast forward to 10 mins after the graduation ceremony...then i will be fine..until then..i must figure out a way to deal with this ridiculous anxiety. Nyquil?

Went to see needtobreathe in concert again tonight....amazing is all i can say.