Get outta here 2010...

Whoa, what a year. I cannot believe today is the last day of 2010. I can't say i'm sad to see it go though. It has def been a year of change for me. So many HUGE things happened this year. It was hard and so rocky at some points...a great deal of growing up...laughter, tears, memories..i'm happy and blessed to see a new year come in though.

I would have to say that every year has a certain theme..and this year for me..the theme was GROWING UP! It was truly a year of coming into my own, failing at things, realizing things I should have learned a LOT sooner, making friends, losing friends...I could go on an on...

10 things I learned in '10

1.) One of the first things I learned in 2010 was who my friends are. I realized that unfortunately people change when they grow up....they move on..and sometimes friendships don't stick..it was a hard lesson to learn...and as corny as it sounds...it was painful...but at the same time really really worth it. I can now see things that I couldn't while I was IN the situation...I'm better now..it's better now. I will forever chose my friends more wisely as well as trying my best to be the best friend I can be to those around me. I honestly feel that is one thing that God wants from us...to do our best with our lives...show that in everything we do...even friendships. I'm blessed now with some really amazing friendships.

(My friend Kayla drew this for me on graduation day...she couldn't be there..but this cracked me up)

2.) Loving someone cannot be stopped by distance. I lived 3 hours away from C for the first 5 months of 2010. It was hard..but so worth it. It taught me so many lessons and allowed me to spend my last semester of college with good friends being crazy and spontaneous.

(C and me ...not in 2010..im pretty sure this pic was in '08..but it's the first pic i came across of us:) hah...thank the Lord my hair is not that length anymore..what was I thinking?)

3.) Completing goals is so worth it. I graduated college this year. What a huge accomplishment for me. I started out college 4 years ago and did not do so hot my first year...I skipped class ALLL THE TIME. But I got back in there, got my GPA up, got a scholarship, and accomplished something that no one can ever take away from me.

(Me and my friend Will on graduation day...loved graduating with one of my good friends that I met in college)

(Me after graduation..i was so pumped! Please ignore the messy hair and sweaty looks..it was like 105 degrees the day i graduated..ew)

4.) I don't like living alone. I did this a few years back when my roommate moved out, and I did it in Jan and Feb pretty much. My roommate was around sporadically, but usually not. Maybe once every 2 weeks. We had very scary and weird things happen at our apt...people coming in, finding...adult videos and male clothes in our attic(yeah, im so not kidding) scariness. BOTTOM LINE...I love having roommates...living alone is really not my thing. I get bored.

5.) Failing is okay. I learned a very important lesson this year. I am so scared of failure that it is RIDICULOUS. I noticed, for the first time in my life, that sometimes i just WON'T do things because I think I might fail at it and I worry what people will think. STUPID!!!! I would rather fail then never try. I have failed at something twice now..something big and important for my future...i won't give up though..i will keep trying till i succeed.

6.) I love writing(this isn't a new discovery) this is something i've known since i was a little girl. My Bachelor's degree probably would have been in creative writing(but once again..i was worried about what people would think about my writing)...my last semester of college I finally gave in and took a creative writing class. I have never felt more fulfilled with anything. I looked forward to assignments...and I began to LOVE when people would respond to my writing......whether it needed improvement or not...it was a wonderful feeling.

7.) I changed my career goals. I went through 2010 thinking law school would come RIGHT AFTER graduation...BUT I believe the Lord had other plans. I'm in grad school now and start the NTL this summer.

8.) Being fit and healthy makes me happy. I put on 60 pounds slowly over the last 3 years....well...i am NOW 30 POUNDS LIGHTER because of lifestyle changes i've made. I still want to lose more weight..but to me it's more than a number..it's a change I want to bring with me from 2010 until forever. I love feeling healthy!

9.) Harboring hurt and pain does NO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10.) The most important thing in life is being happy. And I def am.

I have so many goals for 2011. I'll post those tomorrow though:) I am going to do Kendi's 30 for 30 remix challenge in jan too...I'M EXCITED...i'll post about that tomorrow too. I hope everyone has an amazing new year's eve night...be safe!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Boots, WHERE ARE YOU!!!!??

It's 2:03. I should be sleeping. HOWEVER, i'm up with debit card in hand trying to order those beautiful boots you see in the last post. Maybe God intervened though because THE WEBSITE IS MYSTERIOUSLY DOWN? Maybe God knew those beauties wouldn't fit my one freakishly large calf (yes, i said one...get off my back...i can't help it) or maybe he knows im making bad decisions in my sleep deprived state. EITHER WAY...THAT WEBSITE BETTER BE BACK UP ASAP!

maybe the internet fairies will hear my desperate boot needin' plea and make my night....I NEED THESE BOOTS.

Also..i'm thinking very seriously about doing Kendi's 30 day remix challenge..........I really must be delusional. no shopping and only wearing 30 pieces for a month? Sounds crazy, but fun...we shall see how I feel about that tomorrow when I've had more sleep.

-a

Bye Bye Christmas.

I am a bad blogger. Mainly because no one reads this thing. EVER. I know my life isn't very exciting...but 5 followers is kinda sad:).




I hope you 5..if you read this..had a VERY VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. Something about holidays makes me sad..i know that is bizarre. I think it is because I get soooooo excited for like 2 months straight..then I realize it is quickly coming to an end. Who knows! I do KNOW that I had a good Christmas though. Christmas eve was my fave by far.



Last Christmas Eve was not that great. I lived in a really uncomfortable situation and we didn't get to properly celebrate because C lived 3 hours away and when he was down...things were just bizarre because of my apartment situation. HOWEVER, this year..we more than compensated. On Christmas Eve morning I went and worked out and then headed to C's house. He greeted me with beautiful flowers and homemade breakfast!!! It was wonderful! We hung out for a while then headed to my mom's house to bake and decorate some cookies. We hung out there all day and then headed to the movies with my Mom and watched Little Fockers. I was not impressed. At all. Afterwards C and I headed back to his place where we grilled Cajun chicken and veggies before we opened presents. He did soooo good. He always does...but this year he got me lots of cool stuff but THE BIG present he got me was so thoughtful and sweet. He got me a hope chest that had things inside of it for when we get married one day and get to live together for the first time. A big "G" letter for my future last name. A picture that contained a scripture from Corinthians that I love. And some other cool stuff for our future home! I loved that it was so thoughtful.



Christmas day was fun. Family stuff, lunch, presents, nap, movies...the usual Christmas day activities. This time though we watched Gulliver's Travels. I loved it. Very cute and funny! The bad thing about Christmas? Oh yeah, i had the stomach virus. I kid you not. I was pretty sick and miserable the whole time. But on a happy note(if you can be happy about having the stomach flu on Christmas??) I lost weight instead of gaining during Christmas ha!




I'm thankful for another year with my family! I am a little relieved the holidays are over though.


I have the whole week off. yay!




NOW....I want these boots....but I could def live with


this pair.








Also...I am in LOVE with this scarf

ALSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...i got this duvet and shower curtain from urban outfitters...duvet-20.00...shower curtain 12. YES FOR LESS THAN 50 BUCKS I GOT A DUVET AND SHOWER CURTAIN FROM URBAN OUTFITTERS..........YES!!!!!!! Plz...someone...make me stay off this website. I'm going to go broke buying stuff.

I would love to post pictures of my Christmas..UNFORTUNATELY..my computer hates me at the moment..boo.

Weekend Reflections.

The weekend was good. And for once..I couldn't wait for the week to get here because only 2 very short work days away from 2 weeks of Christmasy/New Years bliss! Yay.

Friday night I had to work at this drive through late display that my community is hosting. It funds non-profit organizations in town. I will say that I went into the situation with a bad attitude because I had been on my feet since 6 am that morning..hard work out...then a day of shopping with my mom...followed by standing in the freezing cold rain for a couple hours taking donations and annoying people by asking for their zip codes. Have I mentioned I hate the cold? I do. I DON'T hate winter, I just hate the cold. I know that makes no sense. But I really like being indoors and looking out knowing that is so cold! I like curling up in pjs with hot chocolate, fuzzy boots, a blanket, reading a great book. I LOVE WINTER/HATE THE COLD! Anywho, it was freezing and the minute I got out of my car at this place it began to snow/sleet/rain mix. It was pretty dreadful for the first hour of it...but after my feet froze to the point of no feeling it was fine! I was happy to leave though..get in my warm car and go home and get straight into bed.

Saturday I spent shopping with C and thoroughly enjoying it, until his grandfather called. I usually don't post this kinda stuff on my blog...but I don't really care. I love my boyfriend with all my heart...but his family..they are hard to handle. Thankfully there is a 10 hour cushion between us and them. They say very mean and hurtful things regarding me all the time like "oh, you have a bachelors degree in English...yeah like that is going to be useful" (im paraphrasing and exaggerating a little) but it is ALWAYS negative and always in regard to me. The comment on Saturday was "so, has ashley dropped out of grad school yet????" im not even sure what that is suppose to mean..but it hurt my feelings. They just seem to wait for me to screw up or fail. The comment a few weeks before that was "oh, she is going to be in school for life and you will have to pay off her student loans".....I don't understand them. My family is so positive and encouraging when it comes to my education..so it's hard for me to understand their point of view. A lot of times I really just want to GIVE IT TO THEM....just ask them what the heck their deal with me is....but then I realize it really doesn't matter. It's hurtful..yeah...it's mean..yeah...but I can't let that stop me from doing what I want to do. Truthfully they don't even know me that well...after 3 years they don't even try to get to KNOW ME they just have to gripe about my career aspirations or my family or whatever it is they dream up that day. I WILL NEVER do that to my children or grandchildren....NEVER. I mean sure if i was a drug addict or prostitute with 12 kids that runs an underground drug ring...GRIPE..BY ALL MEANS. But just because you think I'm not successful by your standards? bs. Waiting for people to fail must be a pitiful life.

The rest of Saturday was very good..we met up with my mom and went to a few places to finish up some shopping! We grabbed some food and went back to C's place to watch movies. I watched Sundays at Tiffany's and was soo sooo soo disappointed. Why do they take amazing books and wreck them with horrid movies. I hated the movie...nothing like the book really...acting was horrible...they took the magic from the book and just ruined it. I felt the same way with Nicholas Sparks book Last Song....Miley Cyrus should never act.ever.especially in Nicholas Sparks movies.

Sunday...relax:)

Now just two days or work(short days) and im off for 2 weeks..yes!

I have been blogging for a while now..and i have 5 followers...that is sad...lol.

Some really random weekend pics.



Sleeping Choodle!!!!!!!!!! He is too cute.


My ultra lame Christmas Eve shirt that I plan to wear with PJ's while
opening presents....holla.



love my friends:)me and nat!

it's officially Christmas Week! YES! Have a Merry Christmas!

Bad moods.

I'm in a horrible mood today. It started out okay. I was able to sleep in slightly...and by that I mean 650! Yes, sadly that is sleeping in for me. I woke up on my own at 5 but forced myself back to sleep until 650 and then i was just over it...up..ready for the day.

I really don't have a "good reason" to be in such a horrible mood. BUT I'm horrified by a certain situation I have found myself in. I don't want to go into detail b/c even though it royally sucks..i know that God is dealing with it and I cannot dwell on it.

Oh, also i'm in a horrible mood b/c i have to work for 2 hours in the cold tomorrow night. I love winter but I had cold weather...ask me how that makes sense? Oh right, it doesn't. I dread it so bad...and i'm annoyed that I have to be there. Don't I work Monday-Friday..no nights or weekends for a reason? Yeah apparently that doesn't matter.

So today when my bad mood was sparked...i ate some pineapple(b/c when you're on a diet and you cant drown your sorrows in icecream, you pretend that the friggin' pineapples taste just as good when you know they really don't) and then I went out for some retail therapy! I discovered this PERFECT little shop in my town (apparently it's been there for 20 years...i've never even entered the place and i've lived here forever) Anywho, the shop had everything you could ever hope or want to have for your home. I had to resist the urge to spend way too much money in there...b/c well..i don't have a home yet so that would be pointless. I did buy a roasted espresso candle though. It smells AMAZING...I cannot wait to go home, put on pajamas, curl up with a good book, and light that bad boy:) But first...2 more hours of being frozen in this miserable office!

I will end this post by saying I have the most amazing boyfriend of all times...even when im cranky, grouchy, snappy with him...he just stays perfect, sweet, kind, loving supportive...on and on! I'm blessed and I hope one day I can possess an ounce of his calm, sweet, and unbelievably kind character.

Random though...i just finished reading James Patterson's Sundays at Tiffany's. Love! I usually don't like books with fantasy elements..however, I am a fan of this one...READ IT! Then watch the new movie that just came out..go lifetime.

Happy Thursday(even if this did start out as a rant)..the weekend is right around the corner.

this is my lame attempt of slapping on a happy face before I head to teach my students tonight..It will be our last class this year! I wonder if they are as psyched about that as I am! Ignore the blur that makes me look slightly cross-eyed.
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Weekend Reflections...a day or so late:)

My 41 dollar elliptical.


Love these boots...the first time I've been brave enough to wear them..don't feel like i can pull them off..but they are cute and i love that they are flats:) casual or dressy! PLUS they keep my legs warm....suck it cold weather.

Me and My love.

Yay, Michael Buble.

This weekend was really great.

Friday night I headed to dinner and the movies for some much needed family time. My mom, sister-in-law, brother, my nephew, and niece all headed out for some food and then my brother split as we headed to the movies to finally watch Tangled. I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!! So cute! Sam and Emma loved it as well.

Saturday morning I woke up early and cuddled with Sam. I love that little boy so much. He really has my heart. Then I headed to the gym and worked out, showered, then headed to do a little Christmas shopping with C. We went to K-Mart which is bizarre because we rarely ever go there. While we were there though I walked past the fitness section and saw a sign on an elliptical machine that said "41.75" and I thought I read it wrong so I walked over..and sure enough..there were two elliptical on sale for that price. I got an employee and asked him what the deal was...I mean..it's not everyday that something is marked down over 260 bucks. He told us that they were both fine...the only problem was that they were the floor models and so they couldn't sell them for the regular price and since they had new equipment coming in they needed to sell them quickly. I got on and tested it out and loved it. I called my mom because she has a love for the elliptical too so she met me there and we bought both of them. It is smaller and not near as nice as the gym's elliptical machine..but it was 41.75. I LOVE going to the gym these days...but a lot of times I get home and wish I had something I could do at night. So it solved that problem. I'm very excited!

My plan now is too work out at the gym in the mornings.....do my elliptical at night along with P90x! woo.

Anyways, the rest of Saturday was spent in town then we went back to C's house where he grilled chicken, steak, and shrimp with yummy veggies and we watched Big Bang Theory! Perfect Saturday.

Today I have been relaxing, dinner with the fam, then I ran 20 mins on MY elliptical:) the rest of the day I plan to watch Christmas movies and chill. I have a big week ahead with work! The last full week until January though..so I'm excited to get it started and finished.

Last week as so crazy busy as well. Monday I had to work late and study for grad finals, Tuesday I went to the Michael Buble concert with friends, Wednesday was my mom's birthday, Thursday i had to work late again!

So..needless to say I'm ready for a break!:)

....I wonder why all my pictures turned out so small on here?

Rant

Since I started blogging about my weight loss journey a few months ago(although i don't do it very loyally like some people...darn) i have found some very inspiring blogs out there! My favorite weight loss blog is this one....She is inspiring and i love that her journey is raw and truthful! With that said, I have to say that I have come upon so many weight loss blogs on here that are just annoying, hateful, and rude. People assume just because something works for them that it should work for everyone else in the world....and that if you are trying to lose weight you should STARVE yourself and never indulge in even one bite of anything unhealthy. I disagree. I have lost 18 pounds and I had a piece of apple pie on Thanksgiving...that doesn't mean that I have went off the deep end and i'm eating any and everything in sight. It just means that I had a friggin' piece of apple pie.

This blog really has no point but to say..people are dumb sometimes. Do what works for you, if you want a piece of apple pie, eat it. I don't suggest eating the whole pie if you are trying to lose weight...but one piece won't kill you! At least that is my opinion...i'm no expert though. To everyone that loves to give all this stupid advice and belittle people on this journey...show me your diploma in something dealing with nutrition then we shall talk..until then..no one cares. Thanks!

Inspiration

Well, it's been about 7 or 8 weeks since I started my eating healthy and workout habits. I'm proud to report I've lost 15 pounds! It seemed so slow at first and the last few weeks I have really been able to tell a difference!

I've decided I don't want to call this thing I'm doing a "diet" because to me that means temporary...I simply want it to be living a better lifestyle for me and my future self. lol. I don't have kids or a husband..but I want to make a change now that will last to when I do. I don't want my future kids to develop horrible eating habits like I had. I really want to make a change that will last forever, therefore, i'm going about this whole losing weight process in a different way. There are so many people out there that take pills and injections and Lord knows what else to help them lose weight......but...the minute they come off those they put weight back on. I don't want to do that. I would rather this be a slow and steady process to keeping the weight off then to have it come off rapidly only to come back. ANYWAYS, with all that sad....my eating habits have drastically improved. People keep telling me that i'm crazy for starting a diet at the holidays b/c I missed out on the Halloween candy and the Thanksgiving goodies, and Christmas treats! BUT, I don't see it like that. I knew that I had to start during this time because it WOULD be difficult but it would teach me the self-discipline that I needed for a whole new year of eating healthy.

On Thanksgiving day I worked out for 2 hours super early that morning so that I could have some good dessert because I haven't ate anything like that in a while. So that day I had a cookie and 2 pieces of apple pie and a little bit of banana pudding! It was great! It was hard not to think about the calories...but...I didn't feel THAT guilty for eating it..because I knew I had worked out and every once in a while on this "being healthier kick" im going to have to allow myself some indulgences or it will NEVER EVER stick.

I really enjoy working out most days. Some days I struggle to pull myself out of my bed...but I know I will feel horrible about it if i don't! So I go..and then LOVE the feeling I experience when I walk out of the gym.

The title of this post is inspiration. The last few times I've been to the gym I've experienced just that. About a year ago, a girl from the community I live in, was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma cancer. I didn't know her personally, but I knew her family(pastors) of the church I visit sometimes. I also knew some of her friends that were destroyed by the news as you can imagine. Our community began raising money for her family...she is married and has 3 little boys. The doctors told her it was too late..and she could never beat it. But she began treatment and fighting this horrible battle anyways. About 2 months ago she finished her last treatment...mind you they were having to travel to ANOTHER STATE for these treatments...which must have been horrible when you're THAT sick. After the last treatment she received the news that she was...CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, cancer was COMPLETELY 100% GONE! Praise God! It just amazes me. I was able to hear her testimony at church a few weeks ago and was so moved by her entire story...the way God was working when she couldn't see it....and the way he had this magnificent plan the whole time for her and her family. ANYWAYS, so I went to work out a few days ago..and there she was...running on a treadmill...hardly any hair..with the biggest smile on her face. It literally gave me goosebumps! She is a miracle in my eyes..and the truest of all inspiration. When I wake up grumpy and simply do not want to do it...I think of her.