Get outta here 2010...

Whoa, what a year. I cannot believe today is the last day of 2010. I can't say i'm sad to see it go though. It has def been a year of change for me. So many HUGE things happened this year. It was hard and so rocky at some points...a great deal of growing up...laughter, tears, memories..i'm happy and blessed to see a new year come in though.

I would have to say that every year has a certain theme..and this year for me..the theme was GROWING UP! It was truly a year of coming into my own, failing at things, realizing things I should have learned a LOT sooner, making friends, losing friends...I could go on an on...

10 things I learned in '10

1.) One of the first things I learned in 2010 was who my friends are. I realized that unfortunately people change when they grow up....they move on..and sometimes friendships don't stick..it was a hard lesson to learn...and as corny as it sounds...it was painful...but at the same time really really worth it. I can now see things that I couldn't while I was IN the situation...I'm better now..it's better now. I will forever chose my friends more wisely as well as trying my best to be the best friend I can be to those around me. I honestly feel that is one thing that God wants from us...to do our best with our lives...show that in everything we do...even friendships. I'm blessed now with some really amazing friendships.

(My friend Kayla drew this for me on graduation day...she couldn't be there..but this cracked me up)

2.) Loving someone cannot be stopped by distance. I lived 3 hours away from C for the first 5 months of 2010. It was hard..but so worth it. It taught me so many lessons and allowed me to spend my last semester of college with good friends being crazy and spontaneous.

(C and me ...not in 2010..im pretty sure this pic was in '08..but it's the first pic i came across of us:) hah...thank the Lord my hair is not that length anymore..what was I thinking?)

3.) Completing goals is so worth it. I graduated college this year. What a huge accomplishment for me. I started out college 4 years ago and did not do so hot my first year...I skipped class ALLL THE TIME. But I got back in there, got my GPA up, got a scholarship, and accomplished something that no one can ever take away from me.

(Me and my friend Will on graduation day...loved graduating with one of my good friends that I met in college)

(Me after graduation..i was so pumped! Please ignore the messy hair and sweaty looks..it was like 105 degrees the day i graduated..ew)

4.) I don't like living alone. I did this a few years back when my roommate moved out, and I did it in Jan and Feb pretty much. My roommate was around sporadically, but usually not. Maybe once every 2 weeks. We had very scary and weird things happen at our apt...people coming in, finding...adult videos and male clothes in our attic(yeah, im so not kidding) scariness. BOTTOM LINE...I love having roommates...living alone is really not my thing. I get bored.

5.) Failing is okay. I learned a very important lesson this year. I am so scared of failure that it is RIDICULOUS. I noticed, for the first time in my life, that sometimes i just WON'T do things because I think I might fail at it and I worry what people will think. STUPID!!!! I would rather fail then never try. I have failed at something twice now..something big and important for my future...i won't give up though..i will keep trying till i succeed.

6.) I love writing(this isn't a new discovery) this is something i've known since i was a little girl. My Bachelor's degree probably would have been in creative writing(but once again..i was worried about what people would think about my writing)...my last semester of college I finally gave in and took a creative writing class. I have never felt more fulfilled with anything. I looked forward to assignments...and I began to LOVE when people would respond to my writing......whether it needed improvement or not...it was a wonderful feeling.

7.) I changed my career goals. I went through 2010 thinking law school would come RIGHT AFTER graduation...BUT I believe the Lord had other plans. I'm in grad school now and start the NTL this summer.

8.) Being fit and healthy makes me happy. I put on 60 pounds slowly over the last 3 years....well...i am NOW 30 POUNDS LIGHTER because of lifestyle changes i've made. I still want to lose more weight..but to me it's more than a number..it's a change I want to bring with me from 2010 until forever. I love feeling healthy!

9.) Harboring hurt and pain does NO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10.) The most important thing in life is being happy. And I def am.

I have so many goals for 2011. I'll post those tomorrow though:) I am going to do Kendi's 30 for 30 remix challenge in jan too...I'M EXCITED...i'll post about that tomorrow too. I hope everyone has an amazing new year's eve night...be safe!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Boots, WHERE ARE YOU!!!!??

It's 2:03. I should be sleeping. HOWEVER, i'm up with debit card in hand trying to order those beautiful boots you see in the last post. Maybe God intervened though because THE WEBSITE IS MYSTERIOUSLY DOWN? Maybe God knew those beauties wouldn't fit my one freakishly large calf (yes, i said one...get off my back...i can't help it) or maybe he knows im making bad decisions in my sleep deprived state. EITHER WAY...THAT WEBSITE BETTER BE BACK UP ASAP!

maybe the internet fairies will hear my desperate boot needin' plea and make my night....I NEED THESE BOOTS.

Also..i'm thinking very seriously about doing Kendi's 30 day remix challenge..........I really must be delusional. no shopping and only wearing 30 pieces for a month? Sounds crazy, but fun...we shall see how I feel about that tomorrow when I've had more sleep.

-a

Bye Bye Christmas.

I am a bad blogger. Mainly because no one reads this thing. EVER. I know my life isn't very exciting...but 5 followers is kinda sad:).




I hope you 5..if you read this..had a VERY VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS. Something about holidays makes me sad..i know that is bizarre. I think it is because I get soooooo excited for like 2 months straight..then I realize it is quickly coming to an end. Who knows! I do KNOW that I had a good Christmas though. Christmas eve was my fave by far.



Last Christmas Eve was not that great. I lived in a really uncomfortable situation and we didn't get to properly celebrate because C lived 3 hours away and when he was down...things were just bizarre because of my apartment situation. HOWEVER, this year..we more than compensated. On Christmas Eve morning I went and worked out and then headed to C's house. He greeted me with beautiful flowers and homemade breakfast!!! It was wonderful! We hung out for a while then headed to my mom's house to bake and decorate some cookies. We hung out there all day and then headed to the movies with my Mom and watched Little Fockers. I was not impressed. At all. Afterwards C and I headed back to his place where we grilled Cajun chicken and veggies before we opened presents. He did soooo good. He always does...but this year he got me lots of cool stuff but THE BIG present he got me was so thoughtful and sweet. He got me a hope chest that had things inside of it for when we get married one day and get to live together for the first time. A big "G" letter for my future last name. A picture that contained a scripture from Corinthians that I love. And some other cool stuff for our future home! I loved that it was so thoughtful.



Christmas day was fun. Family stuff, lunch, presents, nap, movies...the usual Christmas day activities. This time though we watched Gulliver's Travels. I loved it. Very cute and funny! The bad thing about Christmas? Oh yeah, i had the stomach virus. I kid you not. I was pretty sick and miserable the whole time. But on a happy note(if you can be happy about having the stomach flu on Christmas??) I lost weight instead of gaining during Christmas ha!




I'm thankful for another year with my family! I am a little relieved the holidays are over though.


I have the whole week off. yay!




NOW....I want these boots....but I could def live with


this pair.








Also...I am in LOVE with this scarf

ALSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...i got this duvet and shower curtain from urban outfitters...duvet-20.00...shower curtain 12. YES FOR LESS THAN 50 BUCKS I GOT A DUVET AND SHOWER CURTAIN FROM URBAN OUTFITTERS..........YES!!!!!!! Plz...someone...make me stay off this website. I'm going to go broke buying stuff.

I would love to post pictures of my Christmas..UNFORTUNATELY..my computer hates me at the moment..boo.

Weekend Reflections.

The weekend was good. And for once..I couldn't wait for the week to get here because only 2 very short work days away from 2 weeks of Christmasy/New Years bliss! Yay.

Friday night I had to work at this drive through late display that my community is hosting. It funds non-profit organizations in town. I will say that I went into the situation with a bad attitude because I had been on my feet since 6 am that morning..hard work out...then a day of shopping with my mom...followed by standing in the freezing cold rain for a couple hours taking donations and annoying people by asking for their zip codes. Have I mentioned I hate the cold? I do. I DON'T hate winter, I just hate the cold. I know that makes no sense. But I really like being indoors and looking out knowing that is so cold! I like curling up in pjs with hot chocolate, fuzzy boots, a blanket, reading a great book. I LOVE WINTER/HATE THE COLD! Anywho, it was freezing and the minute I got out of my car at this place it began to snow/sleet/rain mix. It was pretty dreadful for the first hour of it...but after my feet froze to the point of no feeling it was fine! I was happy to leave though..get in my warm car and go home and get straight into bed.

Saturday I spent shopping with C and thoroughly enjoying it, until his grandfather called. I usually don't post this kinda stuff on my blog...but I don't really care. I love my boyfriend with all my heart...but his family..they are hard to handle. Thankfully there is a 10 hour cushion between us and them. They say very mean and hurtful things regarding me all the time like "oh, you have a bachelors degree in English...yeah like that is going to be useful" (im paraphrasing and exaggerating a little) but it is ALWAYS negative and always in regard to me. The comment on Saturday was "so, has ashley dropped out of grad school yet????" im not even sure what that is suppose to mean..but it hurt my feelings. They just seem to wait for me to screw up or fail. The comment a few weeks before that was "oh, she is going to be in school for life and you will have to pay off her student loans".....I don't understand them. My family is so positive and encouraging when it comes to my education..so it's hard for me to understand their point of view. A lot of times I really just want to GIVE IT TO THEM....just ask them what the heck their deal with me is....but then I realize it really doesn't matter. It's hurtful..yeah...it's mean..yeah...but I can't let that stop me from doing what I want to do. Truthfully they don't even know me that well...after 3 years they don't even try to get to KNOW ME they just have to gripe about my career aspirations or my family or whatever it is they dream up that day. I WILL NEVER do that to my children or grandchildren....NEVER. I mean sure if i was a drug addict or prostitute with 12 kids that runs an underground drug ring...GRIPE..BY ALL MEANS. But just because you think I'm not successful by your standards? bs. Waiting for people to fail must be a pitiful life.

The rest of Saturday was very good..we met up with my mom and went to a few places to finish up some shopping! We grabbed some food and went back to C's place to watch movies. I watched Sundays at Tiffany's and was soo sooo soo disappointed. Why do they take amazing books and wreck them with horrid movies. I hated the movie...nothing like the book really...acting was horrible...they took the magic from the book and just ruined it. I felt the same way with Nicholas Sparks book Last Song....Miley Cyrus should never act.ever.especially in Nicholas Sparks movies.

Sunday...relax:)

Now just two days or work(short days) and im off for 2 weeks..yes!

I have been blogging for a while now..and i have 5 followers...that is sad...lol.

Some really random weekend pics.



Sleeping Choodle!!!!!!!!!! He is too cute.


My ultra lame Christmas Eve shirt that I plan to wear with PJ's while
opening presents....holla.



love my friends:)me and nat!

it's officially Christmas Week! YES! Have a Merry Christmas!

Bad moods.

I'm in a horrible mood today. It started out okay. I was able to sleep in slightly...and by that I mean 650! Yes, sadly that is sleeping in for me. I woke up on my own at 5 but forced myself back to sleep until 650 and then i was just over it...up..ready for the day.

I really don't have a "good reason" to be in such a horrible mood. BUT I'm horrified by a certain situation I have found myself in. I don't want to go into detail b/c even though it royally sucks..i know that God is dealing with it and I cannot dwell on it.

Oh, also i'm in a horrible mood b/c i have to work for 2 hours in the cold tomorrow night. I love winter but I had cold weather...ask me how that makes sense? Oh right, it doesn't. I dread it so bad...and i'm annoyed that I have to be there. Don't I work Monday-Friday..no nights or weekends for a reason? Yeah apparently that doesn't matter.

So today when my bad mood was sparked...i ate some pineapple(b/c when you're on a diet and you cant drown your sorrows in icecream, you pretend that the friggin' pineapples taste just as good when you know they really don't) and then I went out for some retail therapy! I discovered this PERFECT little shop in my town (apparently it's been there for 20 years...i've never even entered the place and i've lived here forever) Anywho, the shop had everything you could ever hope or want to have for your home. I had to resist the urge to spend way too much money in there...b/c well..i don't have a home yet so that would be pointless. I did buy a roasted espresso candle though. It smells AMAZING...I cannot wait to go home, put on pajamas, curl up with a good book, and light that bad boy:) But first...2 more hours of being frozen in this miserable office!

I will end this post by saying I have the most amazing boyfriend of all times...even when im cranky, grouchy, snappy with him...he just stays perfect, sweet, kind, loving supportive...on and on! I'm blessed and I hope one day I can possess an ounce of his calm, sweet, and unbelievably kind character.

Random though...i just finished reading James Patterson's Sundays at Tiffany's. Love! I usually don't like books with fantasy elements..however, I am a fan of this one...READ IT! Then watch the new movie that just came out..go lifetime.

Happy Thursday(even if this did start out as a rant)..the weekend is right around the corner.

this is my lame attempt of slapping on a happy face before I head to teach my students tonight..It will be our last class this year! I wonder if they are as psyched about that as I am! Ignore the blur that makes me look slightly cross-eyed.
.

Weekend Reflections...a day or so late:)

My 41 dollar elliptical.


Love these boots...the first time I've been brave enough to wear them..don't feel like i can pull them off..but they are cute and i love that they are flats:) casual or dressy! PLUS they keep my legs warm....suck it cold weather.

Me and My love.

Yay, Michael Buble.

This weekend was really great.

Friday night I headed to dinner and the movies for some much needed family time. My mom, sister-in-law, brother, my nephew, and niece all headed out for some food and then my brother split as we headed to the movies to finally watch Tangled. I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!! So cute! Sam and Emma loved it as well.

Saturday morning I woke up early and cuddled with Sam. I love that little boy so much. He really has my heart. Then I headed to the gym and worked out, showered, then headed to do a little Christmas shopping with C. We went to K-Mart which is bizarre because we rarely ever go there. While we were there though I walked past the fitness section and saw a sign on an elliptical machine that said "41.75" and I thought I read it wrong so I walked over..and sure enough..there were two elliptical on sale for that price. I got an employee and asked him what the deal was...I mean..it's not everyday that something is marked down over 260 bucks. He told us that they were both fine...the only problem was that they were the floor models and so they couldn't sell them for the regular price and since they had new equipment coming in they needed to sell them quickly. I got on and tested it out and loved it. I called my mom because she has a love for the elliptical too so she met me there and we bought both of them. It is smaller and not near as nice as the gym's elliptical machine..but it was 41.75. I LOVE going to the gym these days...but a lot of times I get home and wish I had something I could do at night. So it solved that problem. I'm very excited!

My plan now is too work out at the gym in the mornings.....do my elliptical at night along with P90x! woo.

Anyways, the rest of Saturday was spent in town then we went back to C's house where he grilled chicken, steak, and shrimp with yummy veggies and we watched Big Bang Theory! Perfect Saturday.

Today I have been relaxing, dinner with the fam, then I ran 20 mins on MY elliptical:) the rest of the day I plan to watch Christmas movies and chill. I have a big week ahead with work! The last full week until January though..so I'm excited to get it started and finished.

Last week as so crazy busy as well. Monday I had to work late and study for grad finals, Tuesday I went to the Michael Buble concert with friends, Wednesday was my mom's birthday, Thursday i had to work late again!

So..needless to say I'm ready for a break!:)

....I wonder why all my pictures turned out so small on here?

Rant

Since I started blogging about my weight loss journey a few months ago(although i don't do it very loyally like some people...darn) i have found some very inspiring blogs out there! My favorite weight loss blog is this one....She is inspiring and i love that her journey is raw and truthful! With that said, I have to say that I have come upon so many weight loss blogs on here that are just annoying, hateful, and rude. People assume just because something works for them that it should work for everyone else in the world....and that if you are trying to lose weight you should STARVE yourself and never indulge in even one bite of anything unhealthy. I disagree. I have lost 18 pounds and I had a piece of apple pie on Thanksgiving...that doesn't mean that I have went off the deep end and i'm eating any and everything in sight. It just means that I had a friggin' piece of apple pie.

This blog really has no point but to say..people are dumb sometimes. Do what works for you, if you want a piece of apple pie, eat it. I don't suggest eating the whole pie if you are trying to lose weight...but one piece won't kill you! At least that is my opinion...i'm no expert though. To everyone that loves to give all this stupid advice and belittle people on this journey...show me your diploma in something dealing with nutrition then we shall talk..until then..no one cares. Thanks!

Inspiration

Well, it's been about 7 or 8 weeks since I started my eating healthy and workout habits. I'm proud to report I've lost 15 pounds! It seemed so slow at first and the last few weeks I have really been able to tell a difference!

I've decided I don't want to call this thing I'm doing a "diet" because to me that means temporary...I simply want it to be living a better lifestyle for me and my future self. lol. I don't have kids or a husband..but I want to make a change now that will last to when I do. I don't want my future kids to develop horrible eating habits like I had. I really want to make a change that will last forever, therefore, i'm going about this whole losing weight process in a different way. There are so many people out there that take pills and injections and Lord knows what else to help them lose weight......but...the minute they come off those they put weight back on. I don't want to do that. I would rather this be a slow and steady process to keeping the weight off then to have it come off rapidly only to come back. ANYWAYS, with all that sad....my eating habits have drastically improved. People keep telling me that i'm crazy for starting a diet at the holidays b/c I missed out on the Halloween candy and the Thanksgiving goodies, and Christmas treats! BUT, I don't see it like that. I knew that I had to start during this time because it WOULD be difficult but it would teach me the self-discipline that I needed for a whole new year of eating healthy.

On Thanksgiving day I worked out for 2 hours super early that morning so that I could have some good dessert because I haven't ate anything like that in a while. So that day I had a cookie and 2 pieces of apple pie and a little bit of banana pudding! It was great! It was hard not to think about the calories...but...I didn't feel THAT guilty for eating it..because I knew I had worked out and every once in a while on this "being healthier kick" im going to have to allow myself some indulgences or it will NEVER EVER stick.

I really enjoy working out most days. Some days I struggle to pull myself out of my bed...but I know I will feel horrible about it if i don't! So I go..and then LOVE the feeling I experience when I walk out of the gym.

The title of this post is inspiration. The last few times I've been to the gym I've experienced just that. About a year ago, a girl from the community I live in, was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma cancer. I didn't know her personally, but I knew her family(pastors) of the church I visit sometimes. I also knew some of her friends that were destroyed by the news as you can imagine. Our community began raising money for her family...she is married and has 3 little boys. The doctors told her it was too late..and she could never beat it. But she began treatment and fighting this horrible battle anyways. About 2 months ago she finished her last treatment...mind you they were having to travel to ANOTHER STATE for these treatments...which must have been horrible when you're THAT sick. After the last treatment she received the news that she was...CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes, cancer was COMPLETELY 100% GONE! Praise God! It just amazes me. I was able to hear her testimony at church a few weeks ago and was so moved by her entire story...the way God was working when she couldn't see it....and the way he had this magnificent plan the whole time for her and her family. ANYWAYS, so I went to work out a few days ago..and there she was...running on a treadmill...hardly any hair..with the biggest smile on her face. It literally gave me goosebumps! She is a miracle in my eyes..and the truest of all inspiration. When I wake up grumpy and simply do not want to do it...I think of her.

Diet

I'm starting to get slightly annoyed. I feel like I don't see results as quickly as I should. The rational part of me is like "it takes time" but the not so rational part is angry and unmotivated.

I reported last week that I lost 8 pounds....it fluctuates between 5-8 now...??? i don't know why. I'm working out so hard and not eating above 1200 calories if that a day. Someone suggested that I need to be eating more calories since i'm working out anywhere from 30 mins to an hour on the elliptical and then another 30 on weights etc. I'm not sure??? I haven't ate even once single bad thing for me...so I don't know why it seems like it is taking years to see results! I know I didn't pack the weight on overnight, so I shouldn't expect to lose it overnight...sigh.

On a happier note...I might be losing more inches than weight? I feel a little smaller(just a little) and 2 people have commented that I look like I've lost weight...that made me happy...BUT I'M READY TO SEE IT ON THE SCALE....I don't know why I'm so hung up on the scale...but I just want to see results.

8 pounds and a recipe

Well, it's been about 3 weeks since I've started my diet and exercise routine...it's getting easier and I'm falling back into good habits! I haven't missed a day of working out and I don't think I could if i wanted to..I'm starting to love it again! I get up around 5 and head to the gym...after that i head home to shower and get ready for the day..i have some extra time and it is great to be able to just move slowly about my morning instead of the rush rush rush I'm use to!

My cousin and friend Heather started a "biggest loser" competition and she is kicking my tail. The girl lost 10 inches in a very short time from all over her body..I'm so proud of her..and okay..maybe a little bit jealous. lol. I'm kidding..she is doing so awesome and she motivates me! I only lost 1 inch last week...that was a bummer...HOWEVER, i have lost 8 pounds!

The downfall to dieting...becoming obsessed with the scale. I find myself weighing a couple times a day and it is really discouraging...i have to stop doing that. Today I was running a little late so i showered at the gym(which i hate doing) but when i walked into the shower room there was a scale(i have never weighed myself on..usually only use the one at home) ANYWAYS, i got on it and it said i weight like 3 pounds more than my starting weight...WHAT THE WHAT???? How is that even possible. I tried to not let it get my down...the scale at home says I'm down 8..so i will choose to believe that..and from now on..only weigh myself on the same scale! Frustrating.

ALSO...my goal is to lose the weight, obviously, but also do it in a good and healthy way. Eating the same things over and over can get a little monotonous so I've decided to still COOK, but find healthy recipes to try...with that said..i found the most amazing soup recipe ever. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Mexican food and it is a zesty mexican soup recipe. I'm in love with it..so i wanted to post it on here for all of you that would like to try it:)

Zesty Mexican Soup
Prep time:15 mins
Cook:10-15 mins(once on)
Makes 5-6 servings, serving size 1 cup
Calories: 190 in one serving

Ingredients
2 cups cooked chicken(i used the chicken that is already sliced into cubes and precooked that you just have to throw in the skillet and warm up..it's low cal too:))
1 can chicken broth (it calls for progresso but i used a diff brand with less cals..i don't guess it matters)
1 can vegetable juice
1 can whole corn drained
1 cup salsa any flavor(i used the marketside kind from walmart...chipotle something...GOOD..and only 5 calories per serving)
1 can chopped green chili's
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

mix all ingredients in pan...heat until boiling and then add cilantro....
EAT!
it really is good:)

Asos, diets, and rambles

I'm in love....love love love...with Asos. I stumbled upon their website and i just LOVE all their stuff. beautiful clothes! So when i found their website....i had to order clothes! Since it is in Eurpose it took 2 decades to get to me though and be the time I received my package this week I realized I will have to send the clothes back bc pretty soon they won't fit due to my diet:)! That's right..i've already lost 5 pounds and im quite excited. Anywho, the clothes are beautiful and I ordered 2 dresses but I ordered a size too big anyways for some strange reason so i'm going to have to either send them back to Europe and get a refund or sale them on ebay! YOU should check them out!

The diet is going good. I am slowly getting back into the gym thing. I use to be religious about it...I wish i still felt that way..most days i have to verbally abuse myself into going. I get up around 5 every morning(something i hate...and am SOOO not use to) but im learning to kinda...sorta enjoy it. maybe a little....i'm usually home by 645 and showered by 7 which leaves me with 2.5 hours to slowly get ready...lounge around...catch up on tv shows or homework...just be lazy before i have to be at work. I teach all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays as well as teaching night classes so it makes for incredibly long days, but I'm realizing that working out in the morning makes me feel better all day long!

I'm freezing and cold....they keep it 3 degrees in my office! I don't like it.

I'm dedicating this post today to the most brilliant person that has ever been in my life. He was inspiring, calm, gentle, kind, giving, loving, and the most upstanding person ever. He was huge...towered over everyone at 6'5! He had the biggest softest hands and I loved loved loved hugging him or hearing him joke with me about the clothes i would wear! I loved his sense of humor! He was the best example i could have ever hoped to have about how to live my life. he was NEVER negative. Not one time did i ever hear a negative response come from him. He never talked bad about ANYONE! And he would probably be sure to put anyone that did in their place. He told it like it was. But his words were few! He was such an amazing person..and 6 years ago today...he went to be with the LORD in a new body! He is now flawlesss...although im pretty sure he always was. I love you Grandpa.

Diary of a former skinny girl

So, as my post earlier this weekend said..I'm embarking on a journey to skinyness. lol. I am extremely motivated and I can't wait to get back into the swing of things..i'm sure by about wednesday of this week...that will have changed! Isn't that how it always goes? You get really fired up about something....but then you realize when your alarm is going off at 5 am ....the gym is the last place on earth you want to be. I am not giving myself the choice though!

A few months ago I bought a shirt that I love love love. I bought it in a large and when I got home I was appalled to see that it would not fit. When I had I let myself gain so much weight? Anyways, I never took the shirt back...it was just too cute...so I am using that as well as another stack of clothes as my motivation!

Tonight I began rummaging through my closet to find about 8 pairs of Silver jeans that I cannot fit into anymore! All of them are almost new! Makes me sick! Silvers are about 80 bucks a pair..and so that is just more motivation! I pulled out a pair of jeans that I use to LOVE...they were a little snug when i bought them but I always loved them...WELL OH MY GOODNESS....they don't even come past my thighs now...i can barely fit both legs into them! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hopefully in a few months...I will begin to see progress.

DIY: jewelry organizer finished product

Well, a few posts ago I said I would post pictures of a very simple do it yourself jewelry organizer project that I read about doing on a blog. It was such a great idea that I just had to try.

What you need:

Frame
Wire(i used welded wire from lowes 7.00)

Spray paint(if you want to paint it)
Staple gun

S hooks (lowes, 3.00 for a bag of 6)

You just paint the frame, wait for it to try, measure the wire and staple it down securely over the back of frame...and voila!

The frame was a deep brown before, I loved this green...it was different and funky so I decided to give it a try!

And here is the final product hanging on the wall. You just hang your S hooks and begin to organize the jewelry! I haven't hung up all my jewelry yet, but you get the idea:)

You gotta just pick a place and start...again! My diet journal.

Okay, so...nothing like a beautiful fall day. Family sitting around the fire pit roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, laughing, joking...and then....the dreaded

"you've put on a lot of weight" comment.

Okay so it didn't happen quite like that. But my beautiful day was ruined when a family member told me that they saw a picture of me from a few years back and "DANG, girl, you use to be tiny!" Burn. Yeah, that didn't feel good. Actually twice in the last week that I have had that comment made....it hurts.

It made me think though. I really have put on the weight. About 4 years back I was just starting college, living on my own for the first time, and I made the decision to make the gym and eating healthy a huge part of my life...almost too much so. I lost between 60-70 pounds in about 5 months. It became an obsession....it's all i did. I would eat too much salad and punish myself by running miles upon miles. I could not function unless I spent hours everyday in the gym on the elliptical...never missing a Pilates or kickboxing class. I hid it,but i was so miserable. It was this horrible obsession of mine, losing weight! I did it though...i lost every single pound and I felt that I looked so much better! I had a TINY waist....i got more attention... the boys like me better lol...and my friends were in awe...but inside i was miserable.

Enter C. My lovely boyfriend he LOVES me the way I am. He was with me when i was skinny, and he is with me now! When we started dating I slowly got out of the horrible gym habit(the gym wasn't horrible, my obsession was) and i slowly started eating out again. With him I ate my first hamburger in years, ate my first french fry in years...and slowly started eating whatever he did! The problem being...it didn't affect him...but i packed back on the weight plus more!

I've known for a while that I need to get back in the gym. But a mixture of disappointment at myself and fear plus the worry of becoming an obsessive gym going freak has kept me from doing what needs to be done. HOWEVER, those little comments pushed me over the edge.

Starting Monday I will slowly get back in the gym. I don't know how I will do this without becoming an obsessive freak, but it will happen. I'm just having to pick a "place" and start...making 10 pounds my goal. Then another 10..then another...then hopefully it will become a habit and I will be on my way to getting skinny;) haha.

Why am i blogging about this? well....because I figure, even though i only have 4 followers...that if i put this on the Internet, i cant back out! It'll be out there. So Monday begins my diet journey...it won't be easy...but by this time next year...i'll be looking back at this so happy that i took that first step! SOOOO, if you happen to read this...and you have ever been on a similar journey..or maybe you want to take this journey with me..then let's do it!

Pictures coming soon!

DIY: jewelry organizer

What a great long day! I am so tired and it is only 6 pm. This morning C and I decided to do something very rare....yard sale/thrift store shop. Sounds enthralling right? ha, it really was. We got up early and grabbed a paper and checked out some yard sales and garage sales. I didn't find anything really. I was looking for crafty stuff of course...and he was looking for old video games(such a boy). I was SPECIFICALLY looking for an old picture frame. My guidelines were that the frame had some old antiquey or molding(i don't know if this makes sense..but i get it) like look to it. I didn't care the color or anything else...however, i couldn't find ANYTHING! At one yard sale I found one that would have worked, however, it was 20.00...and not in good shape at all. I kept shopping. We went to goodwill, salvation army, and a few other thrift stores and I was so disappointed to see the price on such old frames that were in bad shape. I didn't find anything cheaper than 15.00. How annoying. So what sent me on such a quest for a frame? I saw this amazing DIY project on someones blog on how to make a jewelry organizer. It was so unique and I was instantly begging the weekend to hurry along so that I could make this!

After searching I ended up empty handed and gave up momentarily. We ran into hobby lobby and I realized this weekend they just happened to be having a 50% off sale on all FRAMES...WOO! I ended up snagging one that isn't EXACTLY what I was looking for, but would work, for 13.00! It will work.

So, my DIY jewelry organizer is complete...and I cannot wait to show it off to blog land...but first the paint must dry and then I'll get everything organized and show pics:)! STAY TUNED, YOU WANT TO SEE IT!

In the meantime, I must go get all this paint off me(I'm such a messy crafter) and stop C from breaking something.....we are watching the ARKANSAS/auburn game....so unimpressed! Something will be broken before it's over i'm sure! C'MON HOGS!

Happy Saturday!

Take me and pull me through..I can't do this without you

I've always liked blogging. I used xanga back in the day then eventually started blogging with myspace(i know! who even uses myspace anymore) and now here I am at blogger. I think i've said this before, but I really did just start using blogger as a way to get my sewing projects out there and to look at other amazing crazy people, however, I am going to use my blog today just to get some "stuff" off my chest.

I love talking about how blessed I am, because I truly believe I am blessed! I think that I life such an amazing life, with that said...this year has been hard for me! The beginning of the year was hard because I was in a moving frenzy, lived 3 hours away from my love, finishing up my college life, watching good friends move away when they were done with school, and losing the best friend I thought I could ever have. It was such a crazy time in my life and I think I honestly dealt with it pretty poorly. I hate change in the first place, especially such monumental change, and that felt crazy monumental to me. However, here I am...10 months later...and I feel so much stronger than I was at the begging of this year. I moved (and it worked out), C moved back home and found a teaching job so much closer (YAY WE NOW LIVE IN THE SAME TOWN AND THAT YEAR APART MADE US SO MUCH BETTER), I finished college (AND now I'm so excited about starting a new job teaching and tutoring and pursuing a master's degree), I watched good friends head off for the summer (but we still talk and laugh and i'm happy for them), and I did lose my best friend (we still talk occasionally but it'll never be the same)...SO with all that said and broken down to say this...i lived...i survived..and im a better person because of each of those things happened to me..and hurt..and sometimes I felt like it would never be okay again...but it was..and it is.

I know in the grand scheme of life...all of those things seem so tiny and insignificant..and they really truly are. It amazes me what we put our focus on and what we prioritize and make such a HUGE part of our lives. But, it also amazes me that God takes time out to care about each of these things...to really REALLY and i mean REALLY care about them. He sees every tear and he says to us "JUST HOLD ON..YOU'LL SEE" and then we do....that amazes me.

I have felt so sick for the last month probably..my right leg is so swollen. It was over 3 inches bigger than my left. I originally thought it was just a side effect of the injury last month when i fell down the stairs..but after some coaxing from my mom I headed to the dr to find out I needed some tests ran to make sure it was not a blood clot! THAT WAS SCARY! At 23, hearing that is scary. I had the test ran and that was that...they said it was negative which is great. But they had no explanation for my HUGE leg and my fever and my chest hurting! I have seen FOUR DOCTORS to no avail. Well finally last night after a visit to the ER i got some answers....they ran more tests to make sure there was no blood clot in my lungs..and PRAISE GOD there wasn't...they also did an EKG and other scary tests and I found out that the fever and high blood pressure and chest pains are a cause of infection and fluid buildup WHICH IS GREAT NEWS considering what it could have been! I was so thankful and I had been praying so hard and when the doctor came in finally with answers I felt the biggest weight of my life just come off my shoulders. Life is so short..and wasting our time worrying about little BITTY STUPID things is not important. But when it matters to US, it matters to God!

The other day i was praying and I had such a "God Moment" and basically I can sum it up to say this GOD HEARS US...EVERY SINGLE PRAYER..EVER SINGLE WORD...he hears us..and He listens...and He is working to put his perfect play into action! Just hold on...he HEARS!

Happiness.

I've been thinking lately a great deal about happiness and what it means to me and how I can arrive at the ultimate happiness one day. Don't get me wrong..I have nothing in my life that makes me "unhappy" per say. I just have certain aspects of life that I wish I could figure out or knew what to do with.

Happiness to me is not rare....I'm one of those girls that can be happy with the smallest of things. Happiness to me is curling up on the couch with C watching a movie! Happiness to me is holding hands with my niece and nephew or wrestling with them or putting make-up on EKate or hearing "ashie i love you too". Happiness to me is going to lunch with a good friend or a movie, a concert, anything with "good friends." Happiness is shopping or sewing with my momma. Happiness is envisioning my future wedding, my future kid, and my life in general in the future... even though it is all uncertain. Happiness is knowing I have goals and have completed other goals. Happiness is football games. Happiness is cold weather and warm rain. Happiness is days so cold you just want to curl up and read(seriously squeal when i think of this..that's how happy it makes me.) Happiness is leaves changing color. Happiness is being appreciated and loved and adored. Happiness is knowing that no matter what happens in life God has my back! That's happiness. I could go on all day long about the littles in life that make me mega happy...but the bottom line is this...happiness shouldn't be something that one should search for...happiness should be found in the small blessings in life...cooking dessert, accomplishing goals, laughter, even tears. God wants us to be happy. Find what makes you HAPPY and don't forget to appreciate it! :) Happy Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it's been a couple of weeks, but so much has happened. I have so many purse orders but i can't seem to find the time to do them..im going to have to buckle down and get some stuff done. I am also going to try making some new things. A friend is moving into a new apt and she is wanting to make it unique and funky.....therefore i've offered up a lending hand to help make a one of a kind duvet for her room and some curtains to match and who knows what else...it's gonna be cute when we are done:) im pretty excited for it. I want to try this amy butler duvet pattern

but im thinking we are gonna stick with one print only and I think for those purposes i'm just going to do something really simple....find measurements....sew together....insert buttons ( i don't do zippers) and voila...maybe there is more to it then this...and if you're reading this and have any tips please let me know...it's def a first for me!

I haven't really done anything blogworthy lately. Well, as far as sewing goes. I did however purchase a crock pot that I am probably WAY WAY WAY to excited about. I don't cook. I have never really enjoyed cooking until lately...but I figure I need to start eating out less. I can't stand the thought of such a large chunk of my paycheck going to food..so I set out on a goal to A.) be healthier B.) cook at home more C.) DON'T EAT OUT!!!!!!!! So day one of that began yesterday and I'm quite excited about it! I was looking up recipes that were healthy and several were to be done in the crock pot...and since I had a gift card from graduation to wal-mart, I figured it was logical:) So last night C and I stayed home for a scary movie night and we decided to make Fruit Cobbler with the my new purchase...i have NEVER made cobbler in my life ...i don't even really like it...AND i didn't know that it was possible to use the crock pot for such (see i told you..im no cook) but I found a recipe and it was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The worst part of the crock pot is having to smell the yuminess but having to wait so long to eat it.

here is the recipe

Crock pot Fruit Cobbler:

Cook a can of biscuits according to package directions, then tear them into pieces.

Melt 4 TB of butter

Mix 1/2 C brown sugar, 1/4 C of sugar(i just realized this said 1/4..i used 1/2 C...oopps), and a dash of Cinnamon into the butter

Pour 1/2 can of the fruit pie filling into the crock pot

Put 1/2 biscuits over the fruit

Put 1/2 the butter mixture over the fruit

Repeat the layers

Cook on high for 2-3 hours or until bubbling

Enjoy:)

super easy and super yummy!!!! I just put dinner in the crock pot for tonight (see im already doing better...eating at home:)) If it turns out well I will post that recipe as well!

In other news...I started Grad School last week....it has only been a week and I already dislike it greatly. Ugh, school has always been easy for me, always been FOR ME, I think im ready for a break. This will def be a day by day thing. If nothing else...finish the semester out and figure out a new game plan...im def not a quitter though..so I will give it a few months. Maybe it is a good thing I put Law School on hold. But for the moment school is 100% paid for because of working for the university...and...you can't get much better than that. I have a degree already...so that is what is important at this point!

I also got a part time job teaching. Part time ...how does that work? I will be teaching ESL students or those with basic troubles with literacy! I went on the interview last Tuesday and they called me within 2 hours to offer me the job...im so very excited about it! It will be a great experience I'm sure.

Have a great week everyone:)(or all two of you that read this)

GRADUATION!!!!

Well....I did it. I walked across the stage Saturday morning to accept my college diploma! It was such an amazing day. I was so nervous the week before about it all, but I woke up Saturday with a peace and excitement about the day. I think God def worked in my favor that day because He heard all my "Lord, please take away this anxiety and replace it with excitement" cries lol. When I arrived to the coliseum my friend Will was waiting on me and that helped to calm me down as well. I met Will when I was a sophomore taking a linguistic class. We instantly became friends and although it was the last class we had together we have stayed in touch. He attempted to tutor me in Spanish, but when that didn't work out he introduced me to another great friend William that helped me survive that class. ANYWAYS, I was stoked to be graduating with Will.

I was also so blessed to be graduating with a friend that I call "Rhino." He is probably the first real friend I made at college and the story is hilarious. We were freshmen and we had a Psychology class together. It was a HUGE class and I got there a little late and the only available seat was at the very back of a huge room. So I made my way to the back (i hate sitting in the back) and i was a tad bit annoyed at myself for getting there late. The professor made each of us pick a partner and find out their name, major, favorite kind of ice cream, and an interesting fact about them and stand in front of the class to report on it. By this point I was doubly annoyed because it felt like high school all over again, i was sweaty from running trying to make it to class on time, and i was stuck in the worst seat in the class. Needless to say I picked "rhino" as a partner (thankfully) and when he asked me the 4 questions and I reported back and then I asked him....and REMEMBER it was a huge class so the chatter going on that day was very loud...and i could have sworn he said his name was "dusty rhino" and i asked him several times to repeat himself thinking "there is absolutely no way this kid's name is dusty rhino" but I kept hearing the same answer...so just to confirm i said "So, your name is really dusty rhino??" and he smirked and said yes. So...we begin reporting to the class about our partners...I stand up...give my spill ..."this is dusty rhino...he is a creative writing major, he likes mint chocolate chip icrecream(i just made that up...i really can't remember), blah blah blah." Fast forward 10 mins to the professor calling roll....."Dustin Wright?"....."here" ........................................yes...he really had coaxed me into saying his name was dusty rhino to the entire class. It may not be as hysterical to all of you...but it def funny at the time...so from there on he was "rhino" to me! And he has been a great blessing in my life the last 4 years! I know I will keep in contact with him *after college.* He just got engaged and I'm so so happy for him and cannot wait to attend his wedding next May...knowing him...it will def be something no one wants to miss!

I knew a few other people that were within my program that graduated Saturday also so that was comforting too! It really was a great day. I enjoyed hanging out with everyone before the ceremony began....and when the commencement music started I had a tingle of nervousness so I looked to the girl next to me and said "BRANDY...I'M NERVOUS...CALM ME DOWN" so she busted out in Justin Beiber and all the anxiety melted away and I'm pretty sure I smiled the rest of the day!

I had a wonderful college experience! It started off a little rocky. As a freshmen i had no clue what to do or expect and didn't always make the best choices as far as actually going to class was concerned. Because of this I had to redo many of the classes I took the first year...but it turned out amazing in the end. I remember the very first day of school....I walked into WPN and had no clue what to do....I had a break between classes and found a large glass lobby full of couches and chairs and people hanging out....I walked in...took a seat...and sit in silence for the hour waiting for the next class to begin. Little did I know that that lobby would feel like home to me eventually. Once I decided to major in English WPN is the only building I was really in and I spent countless hours studying in that lobby, hanging out with friends, eating lunch, waiting on others to get out of class....and even sleeping on occasion. I'm truly going to miss that place and all the wonderful memories that I had there.

I made so many friends through college...the kinds of friends that have truly truly truly impacted my life and changed me in ways I could never have dreamt of. To all of my English friends...thanks for making college unforgettable....Kim, Jessica, Kayla, Jennifer, Amanda, Ashton, I could go on and on...but all I can really say is life is so much better now that I've met you all! I will miss you guys so much and miss our crazy fun study groups. I was so happy to be able to reconnect with some of these friends at my graduation party Saturday...:)

And to all of my other friends who may not have been in class with me everyday...but still there ...chuck, nat, krystle, cj! Love you all:) You guys have kept me sane and supplied me with a place to live haha.

Some of my most random memories from college involve stalk night 09, rescuing cory, background checks, laughing hysterically, coffee at hastings, starbucks, or wherever else we could find coffee, 1 am freakouts because we cant remember the characteristics of post-modernism vs. modernism, tears, mean teachers, funny teachers, Witherspoon lobby, caf lunches, nebo, more tears, laughter, and more memories than could fill this page.

I'm a college graduate now...and I had the best time getting to this moment. I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life now......Grad school here I come:)

ugh i would love to post more pics but it took like 10 mins to upload these 3 for some strange reason???

Ohhhh, ohhh, ohhhh...something beautiful...

What craziness has been going on. I feel like the last few weeks have been just ...weird. not bad. but weird. I had an interview that would have been somewhat of a good opportunity for me as I forge ahead with grad school. I thought I would for sure get it, however, I arrived home to find a nice rejection letter in the mail. That on top of falling down the stairs at the movies when young kid tripped into me last Friday and severely injured my leg/ foot, ON top of everything else that is going on as I try to figure out how life will go once grad school begins! I feel like I put law school on hold to pursue a Master's degree in something I am uncertain about...and that doesn't make me very happy. Everything seemed just...bizarre. BUT, as i began to sit here and think that the cards were somewhat stacked against me, I had a massive and overwhelming reality check about just how blessed I really am. Don't you love when that happens? So, this post will be dedicated to the sweet little man who makes me realize what a blessed life is.

He is tiny, short, and perfect in every way! I can still think back to almost 6 years ago when i first held his tiny little body in my arms and I KNEW that i loved that boy more than life. I had never known it was possible to love someone so much AND he wasn't even "mine". He was just so perfect. Now I get to watch him grow and that is so amazing. He really does make my life so very sweet. I know everyone is partial and thinks that their child, nephew, neice, cousin, sister, brother or whoever is the sweetest and smartest and kindest...but I know that MINE truly is. He has the kindest heart of any child I have ever met. He hugs and kisses freely and it is not unusual to hear "Ashley, I love you!" without even prompting it. You should hear him pray! HE LOVES JESUS with all his little heart and you can truly tell it by hearing him pray. I've never ever heard a 5 year old pray like he does and it melts my heart. He says the cutest things and our conversations crack me up so much. He is like a little adult and if you are around us you will her conversations such as this

Sam:" Hey Ashie, I learned all the worlds!"
Ashley: "No way!!! You did? I don't believe it! Let me hear..."
Sam:"Okay...there is Africa, Asia, the artica, monticello, muerka springs....uhh...i forgot the rest"
Ashley: "WHOA!!!! You sure do know some of the worlds....did you know you are the smartest kid alive and I..."
Sam: "I know I know..you love my little face!"
Ashley: "Yes..i do love your little face!"

I am so blessed to know this little man and to be his auntie. He starts kindergarten in little over a week and I truly cannot wait to see how he grows and to watch him learn. Today at lunch, when I looked down at his little face that now holds a thick set of glasses (just found out he is VERY VERY farsighted) I realized that I am tremendously blessed to be part of his little world. Things may be uncertain at times. I may have no clue what comes next. But my life is truly blessed. And I'm so thankful that I have this little man around to make me remember that.....so...to the tiny little brilliant light in my life. You are my heaven and I love and adore you more than life itself.

and the ocean is rising quick..and for years I was scared of it

It is 2:04 am and I am usually fast asleep, but nothing is working tonight. I am wide awake and I don't like it. This is the busiest week all summer so I need my sleep, but of course..my mind doesn't understand that and it is constantly going and I can't seem to shut it down.

What a crazy summer this has been. It has went by so quickly. It seems like yesterday I was just getting settled back into town and this Saturday officially marks the end of summer for me.

This Saturday marks the end of a LOT of things in my life. I graduate collge this Saturday and I am nervous beyond belief.

I severly hurt my foot on Friday and ended up in the ER..so there is the fear that my foot will give out as I walk across the stage to receive my diploma...which i know..isn't likely..but everytime i close my eyes to go to sleep i see myself sprawled across the stage with thousands of people looking down and laughing...ridiculous right? I KNOW...i keep telling myself this and nothing is working. Then i try to negogiate with myself..."okay ashley...seriously..it'll take you 5 seconds to walk across stage and grab your diploma then you are DONE!"..but a lot can happen in 5 seconds lol. UGH...i'm asking you..whoever you are...if you are reading this..please pray for A.)my nerves and B.) that i really do NOT fall. lol.

Then there is the whole fear of actually graduating...what comes next? I have had a few interviews, but nothing solid, exciting, or promising. I got a GA position so at least i know i have grad school completely paid for..but otherwise everything else in life is a big question mark.

I always envisioned myself just buying a one way ticket to some place i've always wanted to live(the beach in nc) and flying out after graduation and not looking back...however practicality took over so that won't be happening.

I really would like this crazy week to fast forward to 10 mins after the graduation ceremony...then i will be fine..until then..i must figure out a way to deal with this ridiculous anxiety. Nyquil?

Went to see needtobreathe in concert again tonight....amazing is all i can say.

Cute summery clutches

So these aren't done, but here is a little bit of what I've been working on. Everyone needs a cute clutch or two:) I love carrying clutches to church. I don't want to carry in an enormous purse, but I need somewhere to put my phone and keys...voila. love clutches:) These aren't finished...rough edges and all..but you get the idea...finished product to come soon!

Finished pillows

It rained today FINALLY!!!! I was so excited. The rain forces me out of the pool and into my sewing room. I made some really really simple pillows..took less than 30 mins. It was so easy and even though they are super simple, i love them. Added the perfect touch to my awesome red couch (i think) and the fabric i used was scrap fabric...which is even better.

My sewing day was cut short though when i managed to lean back on a very long sewing needle that went THROUGH my hand....a few tears later...i now know to be EXTRA careful and about where i put things. ha. I did manage to finish cutting out fabric for a new project...hopefully I will have that done this weekend...can't wait to share!

pillows

So I really have been slacking on the "creating" front. I need to make some more dresses, but my heart is tellling me that I really need to try my hand at some homemade pillows. A month or so ago I snagged an amazing red...yes i said red...couch for $50 bucks. Great condition! It came with some cute red pillows, but I think it needs a few more. I have an obsession with pillows in the first place..so I def want some more and I have the perfect fabric for it I think. So, I'm going to work on those and I will be posting pics of that! Happy Wednesday!

tshirt dresses, applique, and fun headbands

I've been busy the last week or so taking friends to airports, going to waterparks, shopping, meeting up with old friends..and all that fun stuff..but i did get in a little bit of time for sewing. I'm obsessed with these little tshirt dresses...mainly because i have tons of old tshirts laying around and also because it is summer and i adore dresses. OH, not to mention it is super easy to make. I also found...on blogspot...this adorable owl applique pattern. NOT ORIGINAL and I would love to give credit to whoever it is that came up with this..but now I cannot find the blog at all! But whoever it is..you are genius..so simple so cute.. love it. ALSO, I believe in headbands. lol. I believe everyone should own headbands and they can spruce up any outfit or bad hair day...hence the baby headband with owl shirt...which..i will be the first to admit..maybe that was a little overdone...butttttttt...the headband that is attached to the top of the dress in the dress pic=love. Anyways, enjoy the pics and have a lovely Tuesday!!!!

You can come as you are, all your broken pieces, and all of your scars

What a weekend! I'm constantly reminded of these little things that I can't help but believe come straight from God. He is definitely trying to teach me a lesson of some sort.

My biggest goal in life is to be pleasing to the Lord, but sometimes I think that I let things in my life get the best of me. Little things that I let turn into HUGE things that really in the end are nothing. I have to realize once and for all that I do and cannot control the actions of those around me. I can't fix everyone. And I shouldn't try. That is the hardest lesson to learn. I am definitely the type of girl that hates any kind of problem. I guess it's a little ridiculous to admit, but I'm most certainly a lollipop and rainbows kinda chick. I don't think I'm delusional though, I mean I get it...people have issues...but I have to learn to not take things so personal and just be me, work on me, and be in control of me..and let others do them...

At the end of the day, that is my biggest struggle, and it is completely ridiculous. I know the Lord is working in my life though, I love knowing that He is completely planning out my future and that He knows all. That is so comforting. I'm excited to know that even with all my insecurities and struggles, He is right there guiding my silly self. I love knowing that even though the things that are going on in my life are so little and insignificant He truly cares!

I have also been thinking lately about how satan lies to us. He makes us believe things that simply are not true, and once we allow that it is hard to reclaim that area. My thought life is something I battle with. Like I said..I let little things fester and they can easily take control of me. With that said...this post by Joyce Meyer really helps me http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/EverydayAnswers/FeaturedHandouts/scripturesforasoundmind.htm

I'm really trying to enjoy this summer. I'm taking a couple of online classes, but nothing really pressing, and I'm trying to relax as much as possible before I graduate because I really have no clue where I will be working or what I will be doing after that. I treasure these moments of complete carelessness. It's awesome to go to work for a few hours and then spend the rest of the afternoon sewing, crafting, or just laying in the pool. Wonderful!

Have a blessed Monday:)

Oh and b/c I said I would post a picture of the dress i made this weekend..i guess i will...not the best picture..lighting stinks...oh how I need a new digital camera...my iphone camera simply doesn't cut it.

I initially paired the dress with this belt..but changed it to wear to work..love the outcome..so easy and simple!! Wish you could see the detail on the pattern.